Palm Enders... University life...

Tis Thursday,18Th December 2008...... Greetings my avid, well at least some of you are, followers of my worldly observations, and at times, although of late, not many, embarrassing moments for the cast of Palm Enders..

Come on team, give me some material to work with, do what comes naturally, get drunk, and end up sleeping with someone who under normal conditions would not be seen within a mile of you...

Hey Girls, those local guys sparkling white long robes, with matching head gear look a lot better on ,than in a crumpled heap laid on top of your la Perla's, when daylight breaks hey, and you catch a glimpse of what was hidden underneath that expensive tent,

NOT PRETTY AT ALL...

Like make up and Big sun glasses, they hide a multitude of sins.. That's why, for me, the beach is the only place to really tell who and what you may be crawling into bed with, although, even there, we men can be fooled by the latest in woman's support bikini's, Honestly, i now know why they call them wonder bra's, because when they take them off, you stare in wonderment and ''wonder'' where the fuck THE TITS have gone''

And now, the fairer sex are wearing inflatable underwear, for that jay- lo look...

How the hell you Gunner explain that one when its time to remove them, and flip over on all fours looking into the pillow... Hilarious.... we Humans have lost the plot, especially the girls it would seem with these fashion accessories, which is testament to fraud, and Mis- representation of the truth...(right where's my lawyer)...

.Can you imagine if men started wrapping things around there pride and joy, and displaying a lunch box which would make linford Christie sit up and take notice, only to unravel a thing you could start a fire with if rubbed together vigorously enough......You see... fraud....

Now, for my daily observation, which will be taking a swipe at university life...

university life,is what i consider pure escapism from the real world.... I KNOW, some of my readers will argue black and blue about the great institution of uni life, i disagree, and here's why..

In prehistoric times, our ancestors began building shelters and planting crops in order to escape from nature's harsh realities. Today, we flee urban dangers for the safer, reconfigured world of suburban lawns and parks. people have always sought to escape in one way or another, sometimes foolishly, often creatively and ingeniously. Glass-tower cities, suburbs, shopping malls, Disneyland, Dubai, blah blah blah—all are among the most recent monuments in our efforts to escape the constraints and uncertainties of life,

but none greater than the 3 to 5 years students spend with there noses in books, regurgitating the bullet points into an essay, with structure and intelligence, which by the way you are born with, and not something learned.. (Nature versus nurture, which is another topic altogether)..., receiving the mandatory C , then getting on face book to arrange the next 3 days of drunken debauchery, copious amounts of class A drugs, which itself is a mystery bearing in mind the whole time they spend at uni, they have not got two pennies to rub together,

and live off carrots and tins of beans...

How do they pay for these drugs they consume,Another unexplained phenomena....

lets take a look at a random Degree, like Photography, and the history of Art,.. i know, its very random.., so random in fact, its not random at all, its my girlfriends present course..lolI have no issue with her pursuing her love of photography, and the practical time spent learning to aim and fire at objects of all sizes and different subject matter, but i do scratch my head and wonder how her writing a 10000 word thesis on post modernism, and why some dutch fella hacked his hearing equipment OFF from the side of his head, cause the world did not understand him, but then sold paintings with value which would wipe out 3rd world debt and exceed many small countries GDP,

but not until he popped his clogs, which in his case, is not a metaphor, as he was Dutch, and was very partial to a few pairs of these wooden monstrosities....plus that other Amsterdam delicasy, space cake, which , if you read betwen the lines, the reasaon old VAN G hacked his ear off, was because the voices in his head would not leave him alone, classic symptoms of Tetra hydra canibinol induced paranoi.... more commonly known as too much frigging weed, you Dope.... no pun intended by the way....

Anyway,its a complete mystery to me, the art world, and more specificaly , Art speak and the fact i am help to re-write her essay over skype chat each evening really makes my day.... (EVER THE SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIEND).. i could write on the back of a postage stamp what she needs to say in 10,000 words.. Art speak is an absolute nonsense, and art critics need flaying over a hot barbecue, but do it nice and slowly describing to him with a 1000 well chosen phrases, whats happening to his scrotal sack as his balls catch fire.

You see, this will do her no good at all when it comes to leaving the safety of Brighton uni and finds herself in the real world, with 100 people going after the same job.... Although with her Wonderbra and inflatable undies, and the fact she is truly stunning , coupled with the predictability of the cave man mentality in your average man, she will be The French Ambassador to Latvia within 3 months, although she does not speak a word of either language. AND GREETS ALL FRENCH PEOPLE WITH ''ADIOS''.

PS... But i love her very much...

An economy student who now runs a restaurant in London, sent me an e mail yesterday, in reply to my own which outlined the present weakness in our currency, and why we are where we are, and where ultimately, where we are headed with the glorious pound......Now, this guy speaks beautifully, in fact, he does not just have a plum in his mouth, he has the whole fruit and veg store,stuck in his chops

but has the ability to fool people into thinking he is intelligent.,Remember, this guy, a former economy student replied to me...'' well, if we keep talking ourselves into this, then it will happen'' and that all this economic talk was well above his station, and just wanted to know why is garlic prawns were not being ordered at £12 a throw... A beautiful example of uni life, and its merits in today's world.....

GET A JOB, AND STOP FUCKING HIDING BEHIND THE USELESS BOOKS YOU WILL FORGET THE MOMENT THE CLASS IS OVER..

until next time, MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU.