Palm Enders.... Surveys&Handbags

Tis Wednesday, 17Th of December, 2008 and welcome once again to my worldly views on humanity, politics, general observations, and at times, Scandal from the Palm, which has been quiet of late, but the weekend is nigh, so I'm sure some idiotic occurrence, by a variety of idiots will be gracing this blog shortly, so watch this space

....Now, maybe the eagle eyed among you will have noticed this blog along with last nights are the same date, but blog 4 was written at 4.am so in my world, technically the day before... My days don't start until sun light wakes me up, and my first cup of strong arabica stirrs me into life.... Got it.. good stuff....

OK Today's worldly observation is random, but will share anyway.......Surveys&handbags...Every week a new survey of some kind tells us how much time we spend in traffic jams(Dubai folk don't need reminding of this, although us Palmer's, unless trying to get to Diera from 3 to 7 are privileged enough to be geographically placed in a traffic free zone... the marina or the mall is as far as i travel anyway, so traffic/smaffic.....)

Others surveys tell us how many hours we watch the TV, or how long we are held in automated cues, whilst a call center in Bombay tries to ''quote us happy'',

I was reminded yesterday, that the average man wastes of his precious time on this mortal coil a staggering 56weeks taking a Dump... (apart from Tom, of course, who spends only 56weeks off the karsi, as he enjoys it so much)....

Did dynorod clear the u bend again son ?.

..But, time wasted???? men love sitting on the throne more than being on holiday, its man thing... Venus and mars again, but don't try to understand it girls.... unexplained phenomena.. like belly button fluff..,how do you get blue belly button fluff when wearing a white shirt all day....???? we can split the atom, but try answering that one..

Anyway, 56 weeks is a blink of the eye compared with amount of time men spend waiting outside our cars, homes etc for our girlfriends/wives to find her keys or lipstick in there handbags, and don't ever expect her to answer her Mobile phone, which will ring for around 24hours before she finds it nestling at the bottom of her tar dis like bag, hidden from view under a pile of receipts for something she bought in 1990

.. These days, its quicker to write a letter if i know the woman has her favourite bag with her.. The Americans think the have a hard job finding Bin Laden holed up in some Afghani cave, well its lucky he hasn't chosen my girls handbag to hide in, Gone forever,..

Hey, just had a thought... maybe he is in there using her mobile phones( too many to mention) she lost 2years ago to supply AL jazeera with news...ummmmmm... CANT BE.. i hear he is staying at the Burj in the presidential suite, getting friends and family special rates....ooops, controversial middle eastern politics....

But in the uk alone, you women spent 350million pounds on handbags last year, with many costing north of 7000 pounds... ( you wouldn't want to dance around that fucker too often hey)

and that the average girl owns 40 handbags, all corresponding to different seasons or festive

'' oh no Darling, i cant be seen with that bag on this summer day, its made out of some obscure cow, and would look sooo wrong, i would be the laughing stock of oxford street.''

so, would it make a difference should it be made from cuckoos, dragonflies, or David Beckam's scrotum hair... .WEIRDOOO'S

Jimmy choo stated 'a good bag and a nice shoes is all a gal needs to look good'... WRONG AGAIN JIMMY..... If your fat, with one tooth, and acne, there is not a bag in the world that could mask that, unless of course you wear it over your head...Actually, don't do that, it would take 2 years to find it again....the head, that is....

i once with permission looked through a woman handbag, and this is what i found...Eye wear in the upper mantle, some chewing gum, which she claimed was not hers, as she never eats it.... uhhhhh? coins for countries that no longer exist, and pills and lotions for ailments which cleared up 15 years ago...

A secret pocket i discovered housed top level Al Queda operatives, lord Lucan, 2PAC shakur and Elvis Presley( still eating big macs).... Now i know why its so bloody heavy..

A man on the other hand will grab his car keys, his wallet , telephone and he is good to go....

VENUS AND MARS....... GO FIGURE..

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU