No Sex until you finish that road.

A recent news story from south America got me thinking, and to my regular readers with long memories, I have touched on the subject more than once, but would like to revisit this potential minefield, as its topical right now considering what has just happened in Columbia, where a number of Women denied to their husbands, boyfriends, and lovers, which in South America is likely to be one of the same, their conjugal rights..

Welcome to the crazy world of Johtomas.

T’is Saturday, 28/08/2011.

A small background introduction should be the order of the day before I expand on this topic in my own unique way.

The Colombian authorities agreed to comply with demands for road improvements - after hundreds of women went on a sex strike.

For 38 days, they denied their men sexual favors until a road that connects their small town to the rest of the country was paved. So let me get this right. These small town Gals decided en mass to keep their legs, mouths and every other available orifice firmly closed until their lazy coke snorting road worker husbands/boyfriends/lovers..(see above), put away their rolled up 1000 peso notes, wiped the coca away from over-sized moustaches, and reacquainted themselves with their trusty picks and shovels, and the interesting thing about it is..It fucking worked!!!

Now, I am not going to state categorically these measures could be successfully replicated the world over, but pussy power is not to be fucked with, excuse the pun, as its serious piece of real estate down there, and it holds the key to most things on this planet. But, and here lies the irony. Although this tactic worked in Columbia, and the Women got their wish, In North America I can’t see how this would work and here’s why.

American woman and pretty much all women are on a continuous sex strike from the moment the two year milestone of marriage passes, which is standard procedure for most married couples I believe, so it's very doubtful this kind of thing would ever work in New York, since American men have long ago grown immune to this tactic, and the reality is, they are fucking anything but their wives anyway, who are also giving it up to the tennis coaches, artists, gallery owners and the hunk at the local gym, so back at ya!!!

Perhaps, if married women actually started having sex with their husbands that would be the real shocker to change things in the world but I seriously doubt it.
But, that's also kinda doubtful anyway, since most American married woman, both North and South of the border have forgotten how to in the first place, as they are far to busy shopping or pampering themselves all fucking day, and the older they get, the more they pamper, with potions, creams, beauty treatments, witchcraft, etc. Even sacrificing small animals if it means a tighter skin and a firmer neck, which alas, always gives them away, unless you are Ann Robinson, or Sharon Osborne of course, who both look younger now than they did twenty years ago., But for every Sharon Osborne, there are a 100 old toads who are failing miserably to retain the philosophers stone of life, the elixir of youth, and for the majority, the show is over and should be grateful their husbands want to fuck them at all. I know ladies that men in their middle age are no better, well, the majority anyway and I actually concede that in fact, they are far inferior aesthetically than Women of the same age, who at least try and stay looking good and desirable.. Who for, is another debatable topic, but you can almost guarantee its not for the old man, who sits in his favourite chair, every evening after work, farting and dribbling as he falls asleep after a heavy pasta dish served up by the cheating wife, no, scrub that, the enslaved nanny, housemaid.

The withholding of sexual favours would certainly work if rolled out across the globe and sisters united in solidarity and decided as a collective to keep those legs firmly shut. The dynamic the world over works the same way and the interaction between all men and women of the world works the same way and this ploy really would be effective. I am talking, world peace, economic recovery, a real coming together (excuse that pun as well) Can you imagine our bent and corrupt politicians and world leaders who have mistresses in every port being denied their obligatory blow job every time they come to town unless they contributed in some way to ending poverty or famine. I would wager, if this were the case Africa would have an obesity problem within 2 years as sex crazed mad men with balls the size of avocados would be running around like headless chickens making sure Tanzania, Zambia, Ethiopia and all had a plethora of McDonalds, Burger Kings and even the good old colonel and his secret recipe on every street corner. That is how predictable the male of the species is, which in comparison, is polar to the complexities and sheer cunning of the female of the species..

Women love marriage for good reason, other than the security and a large payout for services rendered if she does decide to up sticks and leave It may start out with purity and love, but that quickly dissipates it would seem.
As any smart woman will tell you, sex is a weapon that is best used as a promise and provided sparingly..

A standard tactic of many women I know is to use sex to achieve their indulgences, and if they can ever get their indulgences without having to actually use the sex (merely promise it) then they are laughing all the way to their new handbag or shiny new 4x 4 Chelsea tractor without having to actually deliver ,although sex once a fortnight I hear is good for the skin, a Woman I know well told me recently. (Now that’s what I call real love and passion.lol).I know her husband too and he told me his wife is so cold sexually, when she turns on the heater in her car seat, her crotch steams up and that was being kind.

The truth is, a great majority of marriages have become sexless for a multitude of reasons which to be honest we are all brutally aware of, and more often than not the marriage is a sham, a fraud, which is kept alive for the purpose of the childrens happiness, or a society which demands, they stay within the confides of a loveless existence because the alternative of being a social outcast or a pariah is more painful for the fragile ego than the pain felt living with someone you cant bare to touch any longer which is so fucked up, it belies belief, and To my Friend In Australia, ( you know who you are) It took real guts and balls to take that step, but un like most who would rather stay within an unhappy marriage for the kids and everyone else aside from yourself, you realized it had to be done and could no longer live in denial and You are an amazing woman with compassion and empathy and everything is going to work out beautifully and once again you will be able to fly from the confides of that metaphorical cage which has no bars any longer.

I will leave you with a humorous story which has huge relevance to this blog and although funny , like any joke, it’s just the truth dressed up in a comical delivery system.. I could have written 1000’s of words with examples and comical quips left right and centre to highlight the sex as a weapon theme, but decided not to as i like to keep these blogs under 1500 words if possible...

A Woman come home one evening and finds her husband

making love to a very attractive young woman.

The wife was VERY upset!

'You are a disrespectful fucking arsehole’’ she cried.

'How dare you do this to me, your unfaithful wife;) and the mother of your children!

I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away and half of your wealth, although I met you skint.

To this he replied: 'Hang on just a minute, so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Fine, go ahead', she sobbed, 'but they'll be the last words you'll ever say to me!'

So he began 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.

She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on more weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments and loved them.

Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, which I bought,but don't wear because you say they are too tight which is true as you ate like a pig when you were pregnant and now you are to lazy to lose it.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste apparently and they are to degrading.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair just like them.'

He took a quick breath and continued: 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said

''Please....do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

Y QUE MIS AMIGOS SON LA VERDAD

AS THEY SAY IN SOUTH AMERICA

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU

ONE FIST OR TWO??????

Let me start by clearly stating that this particular blog will be spattered with a few humorous metaphors which will make my loyal readers squeal with delight, but in the main, this is a blog which needs to be taken seriously, if freedom, liberties and any type of prosperous future is to be enjoyed, and for those who are now rolling their eyes and muttering into their low fat skinny mocha-chinos there is nothing that lil ol me can do about it, then we are royally screwed, as its this apathetic attitude which is the greatest weapon of the Globalists, and you may think that appearing in a socialite magazine in a designer frock is the pinnacle of one’s existence so you can enjoy the short lived envy or praise from your equally insular social group defines your identity, but my friends, that is just ancillary nonsense, and you'd better get with the programme fast, if you want your children to enjoy any type of freedom whatsoever, so if you do it for anyone, do it for their future, the next generation who deserve civil liberties and God given rights of freedom of choice and free speech..

T'is Thursday, The 24th of August

The information war continues unabated, and we need to use the platform they created for their own ends against them, which of course is the internet. Social networking sites have become the bane of the Illuminati's existence as the free sharing of info has contributed to a new age of awareness which they will attempt to close down in the very near future, and its of paramount importance this is never allowed to happen, which will be a fight in itself as the blind public are led to the slaughter so easily and willing, I fear for this medium of exchange, I really do..

The sheeple have now become farmyard fodder. We walk, bovinesque into the slaughter house voluntarily as the Puppeteers tell us, ''Don't go out there in the fields, free to roam, there are cows out there trained by Al Queda roaming around who will terrorize and blow your udders off, so in you go to the industrial meat grinder and everything will be alright, resistance is futile, and you will be assimilated into borged beings under our control, before you can say Obama is a terrorist.''... And the scary thing is, in you go to get mangled and all without any type of self evaluation or opposition of what's right in front of your fucking noses...

At the head of the table, or so it would appear to the unknowing masses sits the lyrical laureate, the bank and big corporation owned coconut/puppet,Osama Borat Hussein ( I think that's his name;). The same man who recently cracked jokes during his Shite house correspondents dinner and was lauded by his army of cyborg supporters who are on his payroll, whilst 48 million Americans are eating cold soup via food stamps and sleeping in doorway.

Barack Obama for the record is the worst president in American History and he CONTINUES to make a mockery of the American people and his presidency.( Well, the truth is, he has no fucking influence whatsoever on any type of proceedings, and is merely an employee of wall street). There was no mention of the American dollar hitting a all time low this past week or the unofficial unemployment close to 20% in his speech to the correspondents, nope, it was all fun and games and jokes for the pre selected fraudulent Puppet..

The sleight of hand trickery Osama uses to take the spotlight off of his horrible presidency, is making the out of work American’s realize that the once “American dream” is finally dead. Osama has spent two years in office doing absolutely nothing but giving empty speeches and travelling the world, tongue fucking foreign leaders back doughnuts in a futile attempt to prop up the modern day Roman empire, and we are all aware of what happened to those loin cloth wearing barbarians as Rome burned

You will never hear President Barack Hussein Obama AKA the new world order puppet, give a straight answer on why the gas prices are going through the roof or the economic collapse of the USA is now inevitable and irreconcilable

His popularity has now dived to an all time low, and this uncle Tom, chicken rice and pea eating bounty bar will be cast aside without remorse and replaced with god forbid Sarah, ‘’my IQ is below room temperature’’ Palin, or any other puppet in chief who will tow the line and deliver the agenda written in the shadows by the real power who use pre selected politicians to do their bidding and are never elected by the farcical democratic voting process.

(IF YOU ARE A BELIEVER IN THE SUPPOSED DEMOCRATIC VOTING PROCESS, I HAVE A LOVELY CONDO ON THE BEACH NEAR THE HELMAND PROVINCE FOR SALE.IF INTERESTED DROP ME A LINE)...

We have corrupt politicians and police forces running amok who have helped install this totalitarian fascist dictatorship which has been planned for centuries, that's right, centuries and the end game for these fuck wits is clearly in sight if we don't oppose it now.

My whole life I have had this scary intuition which forecasts upcoming events, both positive and negative, and let me tell you, my intuition is going crazy right now, and something huge, massive is going to happen.. I don't know what, but my spider senses are off the charts now and we are looking down the barrel of a very destructive weapon, and I do not spout this info freely to impress those that have not the insight to recognize pure evil, which has been literally invited into your living rooms by the way of slick snake oil salesmen who are employed solely to do the bidding of the wall street bankers and corporate America, but I do it for self preservation and for humanity who need to know this nefarious agenda before we are staring right into the eyes of an Orwellian nightmare we ourselves facilitated through our own ignorance and insulated lives.

Wake the fuck up and oppose this tyrannical regime or get used to taking it right in the back door, two fists at a time..

The lunatics have truly taken over the asylum, and the mad hatters are cackling like deranged hyenas as the cartoon cast below them run around like keystone cops who in turn chase the headless chickens, which are the sheeple, into passive submission. The United States epitomizes the sheer stupidity of mankind right now, as they are spoon fed complete fucking bullshit by the globalist owned media, and they eat that shit up like a fat fuck in an ice cream parlour.

The level of corruption is nothing less than staggering, and one has to only look at Libya for a beautiful example of doing a deal with the devil. In Reuters today, they admit that they have aided AL Qaeda operatives to attack Libyan government forces and to over throw Gaddafi.. These fucking US funded terrorists have openly admitted that yes, we have attacked and killed Americans, and we will do again, but first, we will take care of Mr Gaddafi for you.

Am I living in the fucking twilight zone here.. I know the Secret government agencies fund illegal wars and coup de tats through the illegal trade of narcotics. That's right, the CIA, NSA, MI5 among others, are the biggest drug dealers on this planet and the stupid fucking American public look to these spooks for redemption and saviour. I am sure if Obama told you that Charles Manson has started a baby and young child sitting service, you would be scribbling down the 800 number faster than Linford Christie making good his escape after wandering into a KKK convention by mistake.

How long are you going to put your faith in the suicide bankers, whose ethos is pure greed and corruption headed up by the deeply satanic anything but Federal reserve who are comparable to serial arsonists and are now asking congress for a box of matches and a tanker full or gasoline, and the fucking morons on the payroll on Capitol hill are asking.''Who do we make the cheque payable to!!''

We need to draw a line in the sand, right now and no longer accept being arse fucked by a small group of very disturbed megalomaniacs, whose sole intention is to depopulate this wonderful planet via a plethora of unsavoury vehicles, including a third world war, which will involve China, a eugenics movement via our food and water plus an attack on our children's health via vaccination programmes, and as a father myself who loves his daughter very much, this sickens me to my stomach..... This is your final wake up call.... Freedom or tyranny?? What’s it going to be?

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU

A letter to parents of...

T'is Tuesday, 16/08/2011

GREETINGS.

Re.. About your mendacious son.

Although this letter could easily be targeted at the parents of any government supremo in charge today,and in any country on this fucked up planet,for arguments sake, it will be marked for the attention of David, ''I sold my soul to Faust''Camerons parents.


Why did you never take the time to teach your child basic morality?

As a young man, he was in a gang that regularly smashed up private
property. We know that you were absent parents who left your child to be
brought up by a school rather than taking responsibility for his
behaviour yourselves. The fact that he became a delinquent with no sense
of respect for the property of others can only reflect that fact that
you are terrible, lazy human beings who failed even in teaching your
children the difference between right and wrong. I can only assume that
his contempt for the small business owners of Oxford is indicative of
his wider values and being a member of the Bullingdon club further removed your lying son from the reality of life and provided the platform to where he sits now.

Even worse, your neglect led him to fall in with a bad crowd.

There’s Michael Gove, whose wet-lipped rage was palpable on Newsnight
last night. This is the Michael Gove who confused one of his houses with
another of his houses in order to avail himself of £7,000 of the
taxpayers’ money to which he was not entitled (or £13,000, depending on
which house you think was which).

Or Hazel Blears, who was interviewed in full bristling peahen mode recently.
She once forgot which house she lived in, and
benefited to the tune of £18,000. At the time she said it would take her
reputation years to recover. Unfortunately not, and is back where she once was before this criminal debacle.

But, of course, this is different. This is just understandable confusion
over the rules of how many houses you are meant to have as an MP. This
doesn’t show the naked greed of people stealing plasma tellies which by the way i am not condoning, but making a well needed comparison with a healthy dose of realism thrown into the mix.

Unless you’re Gerald Kaufman, who broke parliamentary rules to get
£8,000 worth of 40-inch, flat screen, Bang and Olufsen TV out of the
taxpayer.

Or Ed Vaizey, who got £2,000 in antique furniture ‘delivered to the
wrong address’.( Should have said,c/o, Val Doonican) Which is fortunate, because had that been the address
they were intended for, that would have been fraud, Ummmm

Or Jeremy Hunt, who broke the rules to the tune of almost £20,000 on one
property and £2,000 on another. But it’s all right, because he agreed
to pay half of the money back. Not the full amount, it would be absurd
to expect him to pay back the entire sum that he took and to which he
was not entitled. No, we’ll settle for half. And, as in any other field,
what might have been considered embezzlement of £22,000 is overlooked.
We know, after all, that David Cameron likes to give people second
chances.

Fortunately, we have the Met Police to look after us. We’ll ignore the
fact that two of its senior officers have had to resign in the last six
weeks amid suspicions of widespread corruption within the force and that half the force are as bent as an Arabs dagger.

We’ll ignore Andy Hayman, who went for champagne dinners with those he
was meant to be investigating, and then joined the company on leaving
the Met, well if you cant beat them join them I suppose

Of course, Mr and Mrs Cameron, your son is right. There are parts of
society that are not just broken, they are sick. Riddled with disease
from top to bottom, and that's just your sons house at number 10.

Just let me be clear about this Mr and Mrs C,
every sentence your son utters,has been
looted from Tony Blair, who by the way, makes your own son look like mother Theresa herself and should be hanging by his balls outside the Hague for the torture and destruction of lives of 100's of 1000's of innocent lives.. I am not justifying or minimising in any way what
has been done by the looters over the last few nights. What I am doing,
however, is expressing shock and dismay that your son and his friends
feel themselves in any way to be guardians of morality in this country when they play handball in gentleman's clubs with banking elitists which have bankrupted this country and have been the catalyst for the social unrest we are only seeing the beginning of..

You should be truly ashamed like any other parents, watching these habitual liars and power hungry fuck wits lie and cheat and create fear and chaos through out the World, whilst pretending to be alarmed, upset and affected by the behavior of these fucking toe rags who should be all marooned on an island by the way, with very hungry wildlife that has not been fed for a fortnight.

Can they really, as 650 people who have shown themselves to be venal
pygmies, moral dwarves at every opportunity over the last 20 years,
bleat at others about ‘criminality’. Those who decided that when they
broke the rules (the rules they themselves set) they, on the whole
wouldn’t face the consequences of their actions? Of course not, because in their vulgar arrogance they believe themselves above the law and untouchable, but this will change as the reigns of power are decimated and the fabric of their ruling shroud unravels quicker than your son removing his underpants in front of a 1000 dollar a night Russian whore, paid for of course by the state and claimed legitimately as taxable expenditure.. ( Keeping up the Anglo,Ruski relationship is vital of course)Putin really does have the best Hookers, doesn't he.

Are they really surprised that this country’s culture is swamped in
greed, in the acquisition of material things, in a lust for consumer
goods of the most base kind? Really?

Let’s have a think back: cash-for-questions; Bernie Ecclestone;
cash-for-access; Mandelson’s mortgage; the Hinduja passports; Blunkett’s
alleged insider trading (and, by the way, when someone has had to
resign in disgrace twice can we stop having them on television as a
commentator, please?); the meetings on the yachts of oligarchs; the
drafting of the Digital Economy Act with Lucian Grange; Byers’, Hewitt’s
& Hoon’s desperation to prostitute themselves and their positions;
the fact that Andrew Lansley (in charge of NHS reforms) has a wife who
gives lobbying advice to the very companies hoping to benefit from the
NHS reforms. And that list didn’t even take me very long to think of and would be here all night if highlighting the blatant illegality of our governing bodies, and its fucking bent members..

Our politicians, like the majority are for sale and they do not care who knows it.

Oh yes, and then there’s the expenses thing. Widescale abuse of the very
systems they designed, almost all of them grasping what they could
while they remained MPs, to build their nest egg for the future at the
public’s expense. They even now whine on Twitter about having their
expenses claims for getting back to Parliament while much of the country
is on fire subject to any examination. True public servants.

The last few days have revealed some truths, and some heartening truths.

The fact that local communities came together to keep their neighbourhoods
safe when the police failed is heartening. The fact that there were
peace vigils being organised (even as the police tried to dissuade
people) is heartening.

A peaceful protest was the last thing your son wanted, and his Zionist paymasters made sure Agent Provocateurs would keep the violence bubbling along nicely to justify whats to come, which is further erosion of our civil liberties and freedoms, with an internet kill switch option to firewall off vast swathes on info, not to protect the innocent from these little turds, hell bent on destruction, but to quell the emotional uprising, and awakening of consciousness of the masses.

There is hope for this country and the World as we approach 2012 and the massive changes it will bring.But we must stop looking upwards for it.
The politicians are the ones leading the charge into the gutter and they need removing from their ivory towers.

David Cameron was entirely right when he said: “It is a complete lack of
responsibility in parts of our society, people allowed to think that
the world owes them something, that their rights outweigh their
responsibilities, and that their actions do not have consequences.” Don't make me fucking laugh with that bullshit. Responsibility?? I doubt you can spell the word. Try learning these words first Cameron. Empathy, care, compassion, love, truth, and when you have grasped the true meaning of those, I'll send 5 more over to you..

GOVERNMENT IS A FUCKING JOKE AND THE SOONER THEIR POWER IS REMOVED THE SOONER HUMANITY CAN ASPIRE TO A NEW AGE.


And I blame the parents.

The things you see it at 37000 feet..

Greetings.. It's been a while hasn't it, but I am still very much alive, and the stories of my demise have been wildly exaggerated, so don't believe the hype as its all an illusion anyway.

T'is the 10th of August, 2011......

As i sit on here on easy jet flying to Munich, which in fact is my first trip the father land, I can’t help thinking about the cultural differences between us sledgehammer Brits and the efficiency of the Germans,.. . They are often accused, mostly by the Brits of course that they are far too literal about things, which they contest most vehemently , although any nation whose word for Gloves is Hand schuen which literally means ‘’Hand shoes’’ have not a leg to stand on, or a hand schuen for that matter..

Being literal of course is not the sole right of the Germans, as the Yanks, who i believe are twinned with good ol Germany suffer from the same affliction, and to be honest, my closest girlfriend on this planet, Miss Danielle, a born and bred Auzzie, with a brain the size of a Dwarf star,(And to save you googling that D, it’s fucking huge, and it’s a compliment. The irony, lol.. ), is the most literal person on this planet, period, and I have spent many hours holding my ribs atliteral misunderstandings which to her credit, she laughs at just as hard.. .

Anyway, like I said, Observing people at close quarters is a wonderful way to pass 90 minutes on a cramped plane, and people watching is what I do best, sowill highlight now for you my thoughts as we cruise the skies at 37,000 feet.. ..

The first glaringly obvious difference I can deduct from this budget flight on its way to Munich compared with many others I have taken to Europe is this. The Germans are nowhere near as fat as the Brits, or certainly not our American cousins, who barely manage to squeeze a singular fat arse cheek into seats which are made solely for those who possess snake hips, and watching these overweight primates force their fat arses into seats made for pre pubescent Ethiopians is comedy gold.

Having said that, what the Germans lack in waist circumference, they make up in Head size. I kid you not; they are more akin to giant water melons than Heads, although finding a sense of humour stuck in that enormous suede is the definition of futility, although, after shortdeliberation, I think I prefer the droll krauts to the moronic three British stooges who seem to find shouting ‘’Vorsprung Durk Technic’’ at the German air hostess every time she passes by, the epitome of high brow humour... For the record, it means, ‘’Fuck you BMW’’, created by an ad agency working for Audi I believe. But don’t quote me..

To my immediate right sit an American couple, who could be part of the 25% who are ancestrally tied to the Father land, or they could be part of the other 75%, who are Zionist Jews. Matters not to be honest, but if i had to hazard a guess , I would go with the yarmulke and the missing 4 skin, but one thing’s for sure, they love the sound of their own voices as they plan their trip, which is intriguing considering 90% of Americans are unaware that the World extends past Miami, and that the Earth is indeed round, so I applaud them at least for leaving that fascist dictatorship, even for a day.

But on closer inspection, Germany and America have plenty in common. They both love Benny hill, Mr Bean, and Hot dogs the size of cricket pitches, and who else would decorate their homes with tangerine walls ,purple carpets, bright green three piece suites, and travel with suitcases made from grannies old carpet? Well apart from mate Peanut, who lives in Dubai, only the Germans or the Yanks, who also, by the way think they live in democratic free countries, but are in fact cocooned in enough gaffer tape through bureaucracy to mummify Egypt, twice over.
One takes it in the Arseshiftz from that former stunning model Merkel, and the others from a lying coconut who could not lie in bed straight. Twinned countries indeed..

As we are on the subject of idiosyncratic traits of the inhabitants of differing countries, I came across a very interesting fact whilst reading the in flight magazine. A recent poll taken highlighted the most miserable people who were most unhappy with their lot, and I was gob smacked at the country that came top of the tree, or most unhappy with their existence... I was expecting a raft of countries with genuine gripes, like Afghanistan, whose inhabitants are happy if they wake up in a bed which still resides in the same post code as their homes, or they reach down on waking and smile as their left leg is still attached to their right..
Or a town i visited in Zambia where abstract poverty was running at 93% and the only entertainment was a table tennis table with two old broken frying pans for bats and a ball that has been lost years ago, but still seemed to be of interest to the poor locals,and where the only water falls from the tears of the suffering.Icould go on highlighting genuine reasons for the poor, suffering souls of a plethora of countries, but wont bore you with my save the children rhetoric and get to the point..

The least happy country and its miserable inhabitants, is,... ITALY!!!!!!!. That is not a typo, read that again, ITALY.!!!.. Ok we know it has its problems, but the most unhappy? It would be a start if they took greater notice of where they were going, rather than attempting to look good, and staring in shop windows, not at the designer clothes, which hang off them anyway, but at themselves all fucking day seems a gigantic waste of time.

This next fact, and of this you can be sure, and I really sympathize. That trophy model wife you married in her teens will not last long, and before you know it,you will wake up one morning long before her 28th birthday, and she will have turned into her mother of 64 and weighing 85 kilos, with the once svelte black dress being replaced by a black sack which hides a set of tits which touches her knees.(One of life's unexplained phenomena)

Another problem I can sympathize with is that kids are not allowed to leave home until 72, and are still getting smacked around the head on a daily basis by the fascist loving father who still thinks the God father was real, and a shrine to Tony Montana, (aka scar face)sits proudly next to a statue of the Virgin Mary holding her baby of some sex, but for the life of me i could not tell you which..

We understand you have a corrupt paedophile who uses black boot polish on his nut to disguise his lack of follicles on his dishonest dome running your country, and he wont get out of bed unless he gets a back hander, but then again, the whole country don't either...

And I really feel for the guys who leave their homes in Naples fully dressed, and return most evenings semi naked as the Napolitano’s have literally removed their shirts from their backs, and walking into Switzerland to post your letters is the only way of guaranteeing its arrival must get awfully fucking tiring, but you have clothes, ample water, food(See Former stunning wife, who now resembles Susan Boyle), shelter, decent medical facilities, roads, blah blah blah, so to claim to be the most unhappy nation on Earth is fucking scandalous, but that’s what the Italians do best. Moan, Moan, and moan some more....I blame the pope personally!!!.

Anyway, talking of cultural stereotyping, the plane is now landed and you should see the carnage unfolding before my eyes.. The Germans are off their arses faster than a James Bond villain in an ejector seat from an Aston Martin , and there are beach towels and Hawaiian tropic suntan lotion fucking everywhere, as they jostle for position, but the funny thing is, nearest beach is 60 miles away... I thank my Old Granddad for defeating the Luftwaffe single handed with nothing more than a catapult and a box cutter, or I myself might be now throwing my larger than normal head around whilst reserving an aisle seat with an 8ft beach towel.

73% of a 187,457 people asked agreed with the above findings, whilst 13% of the remaining 16,943 reserved the right to comment, which loosely means that 8.9% of the above is made up according to a survey taken by just 15 Lesbians...

STRANGE OLD WORLD WE LIVE IN....

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION.....

First up, I am happy that the last blog had such a good response, and that the material, for most was comical and spiritual enough for the tree huggers to get moist over, so for that I thank you all. You see, I am an equal opportunity abuser and appeaser in equal and unbiased measures.

Now this brings me to today's blog and what I have been thinking lately, and age once again found its way into my frontal lobe this afternoon as I was attending a birthday party of a man so old, the candles cost more than the cake and we had to call Red Adair to put them out for fear of the house going up in smoke.. and I made an interesting correlation between this blog material and last weeks. I got to thinking that age does not and cannot protect you from LOVE, but, LOVE will certainly protect you from age, and for those that find that too deep or profound, or new age nonsense, then may I suggest ''Americas got talent'' has just started where a man performing deep throat, balls and all on himself is available for your viewing pleasure. I knew the David shuttleHoff could do that!!! Way to go Hoff... and indeed that's a special talent, and in fact could well render the female of the specie obsolete. Although my brother can also do that, but stays married, so maybe just a myth??

Joking aside, the L word needs no explanation and if you think the perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M after a vat of cheap alcohol and copious amounts of class 'A' cut to shit crap, then again, Hoff is just about to give himself a happy ending, so I bid ye farewell to you guys as well..... For those who need no explanation for life's only truth then read on........

T'IS THE 19TH OF FEB..2011

Are happiness, positivity and love interconnected?

Well, I certainly think so, and the above is the true holy trinity, for me anyway, and as this is my vehicle to express such thoughts, then express I will. How can one over exaggerate the importance of happiness. Without it, life sure becomes one long struggle, and the moment man loses touch with it, he is no longer alive and has for all intent and purposes become a breathing corpse. Its our sole aim and objective and its within all of us, but sadly a vast amount of poor sods have been disconnected from this reality and the pursuit of happiness has become the elusive hunt for the holy grail, because the word itself has been lost in translation as we ascertain our existence with material pleasures which have no depth. Man mistakes pleasure for happiness continually and they are a different breed of animal.

OK I get excited like anyone else with the thrill of driving at warp speed in a Ferrari, or riding a roller coaster for the first time, but like all Pleasures, the thrill is short lived, and we are back to earth with a bump as reality bites and we realize that 5 Min's of fun is just that, a blink of an eye, whereas true happiness arises from somewhere else, from the enjoyment of one's self, deep within the core of our existence, and self love is vital, for you cannot love others without first loving yourself, and this is has no correlation with ego based love, but an appreciation of who we are..from best friends who we genuinely want the best for and love without conditions, and the treasured conversations of a few select enlightened souls who share the same frequency and dimension without effort or struggle, but shine , like beacons as they radiate pure love for one another, and the ironic thing about it all is the happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except they just are so!! and ironically again those who continually seek it, miss it by a country mile and those who constantly discuss it, lack it also..( SO THIS WILL BE ONE AND ONLY BLOG ON THE MATTER, BEFORE YOU SMART ARSES POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS).

Happiness is not a pursuit, its a birth rite, and if you pursue it you'll never find it and being happy is never stopping to think if you are or not!.Just by being an empathetic soul, with love and compassion in your hearts and doing good for others you will find happiness running after you, and the universe is a wily old fox and knows very well the difference between giving with love and without conditions, and giving to receive, which is truly worlds apart!!

Happiness is cat like and strangely enough can be applied to many Women as well. Try coaxing or calling either of them, or bothering either and they are likely to /will avoid you like a dose of the clap, or worse !"but pay them no attention and go about your business, content and confident in yourself, you'll find them both jumping into your lap, and dry humping your legs. Getting the picture????Don't waste your time searching or convincing yourself you are indeed happy, or spend countless hours comparing this or other moments in the past with the present, which you cannot enjoy because you then find you are comparing them to probable future events which have yet to happen.Its all nonsense.,..The now is the only thing that you should be living in and allow all else to happen. This wonderful planet we inhabit is us and we are her like a giant looking glass which gives back to every person the reflection of their own face and thoughts.Frown at it and she will turn sourly on you, but laugh with her, love with her and she truly becomes a beautiful companion. Be loving, be kind, treat others as you yourself like to be treated, and the world becomes what you are.

There is no magic station where one attempts to get off, but its a manner of constant travel without a definitive destination, so enjoy the scenery on this momentous, perpetual journey and let it happen, and stop bloody questioning this state of consciousness.Its in our blood to be suspicious of happiness, because we are caught up in this perceived illusion that has been created for us, which is based on control and manipulation of our minds, which is a problem in itself, as the mind will always detract you from whats real, and will lead you away from what really is real..

We spend our lives craving control and to possess and keep forever things which are essentially impermanent. This leads only to frustration, and the refusal to let go of this false desire is one of the immediate causes of personal suffering, and those who resist the waves are swept away, but he who bends and allows himself to let go will become part of the tide as he is picked up atop of the wave and carried to a higher plane.

The unknown is also a vehicle for great unhappiness and worry. It sends people scurrying around, chasing dreams, illusions, wars, peace, hate, love, or the perception of it. Unknown is what it is, accept that, and its plain sailing... Stop trying to control and let it happen. Life is not a spread sheet with theories and complex algorithms.Love will guide you, and its the poetry of the senses and we are all born for loving, its our principle of existence and take it away or neglect or deny it and our earth becomes a tomb.

My life has apparently no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out, and those who tell me this are rich, lost and emotional retards whose emotional intelligence would rival that of a rocking chair, whose characteristics are all shallow, and meaningless, talking of revenge and pay back and the next million pound deal at the expense of someone else.. I thought it was only Women who pretend to forgive a man, but then reheat his sins for breakfast every fucking morning....lol... Nope, we men are very apt at the resentment, which is akin to drinking poison and waiting for you enemy to die. Pretty pointless hey??Or another way to describe it is to grasp a hot coal with the intent of throwing at someone else, knowing only you will end up getting burned..

Happiness.. What am I doing right??... Well they say a man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late!! and he has done half his dough as he realizes that decision making wasn't the smartest.

So to recap, and joking aside once again. love and happiness are intrinsically linked, and we know by now when I say love, I do not mean attachment, nor possession of another, but unconditional and pure, like a parent has for their son or daughter and the heart that has truly loved like this will never forget the only real thing that exists , and its the most powerful force in the universe. Ok it will break your heart at times, and render you vulnerable as that organ goes walk about outside your body without a safety net, but you are alive, and you know whats real and what is just an act.. There is a galaxy of difference of thinking and knowing you are both happy and in love and in turn loved back.. Its that which will save humanity and unite all as one and its coming, this age of Aquarius, the knowing age is hurtling towards us, so let her in and embrace each other and start living for today displaying care and kindness for all sentient beings, and let go of those false emotions which the mind construct has created for you.. The bags, the cars, the clothes, the jewelery, the housemaids, nannies and all other ancillary noise, They are just illusions of necessity which you believe essential in the pursuit of happiness..WRONG!! These are egoic possessions which give you a false sense of power, but its just that.. A false sense.

Right, enough for today, as this topic could fill, and it does, whole libraries.

In the immortal words of Vinnie Jones///''Its been emotional''

Now, for today's observation and a little light hearted humor.

Observation 1..

I fucking hate banks and what they stand for and how they operate, and can sum up very easily what they do. A bank is an institution who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain which in a nutshell is the standard modus operandi, nuff said about these greedy parasites.

Observation 2..

A recent survey I read, stated that the average person's greatest fear after telling the wife she's looking old in that dress, or to keep the light off when you are doing her from behind, is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and wax lyrical about the poor bastard lying as stiff as my morning glory in that 6ft pine box???? That's odd wouldn't you say.

Observation 3..

We as a family and by that I mean my blood family are recognized for a few skills, and one of them is the ability to dance, and I put it down to this. Growing up in a small 3 bed house with one bathroom and 8 thirsty people fighting for the throne, You learn to dance, or piss your pants, one of the two...

Observation 4..

Ever wonder about people who spend £2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward... E.V.I.A.N Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

''MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU''.