No Sex until you finish that road.

A recent news story from south America got me thinking, and to my regular readers with long memories, I have touched on the subject more than once, but would like to revisit this potential minefield, as its topical right now considering what has just happened in Columbia, where a number of Women denied to their husbands, boyfriends, and lovers, which in South America is likely to be one of the same, their conjugal rights..

Welcome to the crazy world of Johtomas.

T’is Saturday, 28/08/2011.

A small background introduction should be the order of the day before I expand on this topic in my own unique way.

The Colombian authorities agreed to comply with demands for road improvements - after hundreds of women went on a sex strike.

For 38 days, they denied their men sexual favors until a road that connects their small town to the rest of the country was paved. So let me get this right. These small town Gals decided en mass to keep their legs, mouths and every other available orifice firmly closed until their lazy coke snorting road worker husbands/boyfriends/lovers..(see above), put away their rolled up 1000 peso notes, wiped the coca away from over-sized moustaches, and reacquainted themselves with their trusty picks and shovels, and the interesting thing about it is..It fucking worked!!!

Now, I am not going to state categorically these measures could be successfully replicated the world over, but pussy power is not to be fucked with, excuse the pun, as its serious piece of real estate down there, and it holds the key to most things on this planet. But, and here lies the irony. Although this tactic worked in Columbia, and the Women got their wish, In North America I can’t see how this would work and here’s why.

American woman and pretty much all women are on a continuous sex strike from the moment the two year milestone of marriage passes, which is standard procedure for most married couples I believe, so it's very doubtful this kind of thing would ever work in New York, since American men have long ago grown immune to this tactic, and the reality is, they are fucking anything but their wives anyway, who are also giving it up to the tennis coaches, artists, gallery owners and the hunk at the local gym, so back at ya!!!

Perhaps, if married women actually started having sex with their husbands that would be the real shocker to change things in the world but I seriously doubt it.
But, that's also kinda doubtful anyway, since most American married woman, both North and South of the border have forgotten how to in the first place, as they are far to busy shopping or pampering themselves all fucking day, and the older they get, the more they pamper, with potions, creams, beauty treatments, witchcraft, etc. Even sacrificing small animals if it means a tighter skin and a firmer neck, which alas, always gives them away, unless you are Ann Robinson, or Sharon Osborne of course, who both look younger now than they did twenty years ago., But for every Sharon Osborne, there are a 100 old toads who are failing miserably to retain the philosophers stone of life, the elixir of youth, and for the majority, the show is over and should be grateful their husbands want to fuck them at all. I know ladies that men in their middle age are no better, well, the majority anyway and I actually concede that in fact, they are far inferior aesthetically than Women of the same age, who at least try and stay looking good and desirable.. Who for, is another debatable topic, but you can almost guarantee its not for the old man, who sits in his favourite chair, every evening after work, farting and dribbling as he falls asleep after a heavy pasta dish served up by the cheating wife, no, scrub that, the enslaved nanny, housemaid.

The withholding of sexual favours would certainly work if rolled out across the globe and sisters united in solidarity and decided as a collective to keep those legs firmly shut. The dynamic the world over works the same way and the interaction between all men and women of the world works the same way and this ploy really would be effective. I am talking, world peace, economic recovery, a real coming together (excuse that pun as well) Can you imagine our bent and corrupt politicians and world leaders who have mistresses in every port being denied their obligatory blow job every time they come to town unless they contributed in some way to ending poverty or famine. I would wager, if this were the case Africa would have an obesity problem within 2 years as sex crazed mad men with balls the size of avocados would be running around like headless chickens making sure Tanzania, Zambia, Ethiopia and all had a plethora of McDonalds, Burger Kings and even the good old colonel and his secret recipe on every street corner. That is how predictable the male of the species is, which in comparison, is polar to the complexities and sheer cunning of the female of the species..

Women love marriage for good reason, other than the security and a large payout for services rendered if she does decide to up sticks and leave It may start out with purity and love, but that quickly dissipates it would seem.
As any smart woman will tell you, sex is a weapon that is best used as a promise and provided sparingly..

A standard tactic of many women I know is to use sex to achieve their indulgences, and if they can ever get their indulgences without having to actually use the sex (merely promise it) then they are laughing all the way to their new handbag or shiny new 4x 4 Chelsea tractor without having to actually deliver ,although sex once a fortnight I hear is good for the skin, a Woman I know well told me recently. (Now that’s what I call real love and passion.lol).I know her husband too and he told me his wife is so cold sexually, when she turns on the heater in her car seat, her crotch steams up and that was being kind.

The truth is, a great majority of marriages have become sexless for a multitude of reasons which to be honest we are all brutally aware of, and more often than not the marriage is a sham, a fraud, which is kept alive for the purpose of the childrens happiness, or a society which demands, they stay within the confides of a loveless existence because the alternative of being a social outcast or a pariah is more painful for the fragile ego than the pain felt living with someone you cant bare to touch any longer which is so fucked up, it belies belief, and To my Friend In Australia, ( you know who you are) It took real guts and balls to take that step, but un like most who would rather stay within an unhappy marriage for the kids and everyone else aside from yourself, you realized it had to be done and could no longer live in denial and You are an amazing woman with compassion and empathy and everything is going to work out beautifully and once again you will be able to fly from the confides of that metaphorical cage which has no bars any longer.

I will leave you with a humorous story which has huge relevance to this blog and although funny , like any joke, it’s just the truth dressed up in a comical delivery system.. I could have written 1000’s of words with examples and comical quips left right and centre to highlight the sex as a weapon theme, but decided not to as i like to keep these blogs under 1500 words if possible...

A Woman come home one evening and finds her husband

making love to a very attractive young woman.

The wife was VERY upset!

'You are a disrespectful fucking arsehole’’ she cried.

'How dare you do this to me, your unfaithful wife;) and the mother of your children!

I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away and half of your wealth, although I met you skint.

To this he replied: 'Hang on just a minute, so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Fine, go ahead', she sobbed, 'but they'll be the last words you'll ever say to me!'

So he began 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.

She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on more weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments and loved them.

Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, which I bought,but don't wear because you say they are too tight which is true as you ate like a pig when you were pregnant and now you are to lazy to lose it.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste apparently and they are to degrading.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair just like them.'

He took a quick breath and continued: 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said

''Please....do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

Y QUE MIS AMIGOS SON LA VERDAD

AS THEY SAY IN SOUTH AMERICA

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU