Monogamy really is a peace of woods.!!!

Right then, lets get on with it, and with subject matter sure to raise a few pulses amongst other things which is what gets men into trouble in the first place,We'll crack on

Greetings, T'is Sunday, March 7th..201o...

It's been a while i know, and apologies to those who have e mailed me inquiring about this latest sabbatical i have taken away from my laptop. So, here's hoping this blog will have you purring like the proverbial Cheshire cat, and i will be forgiven and heralded from the roof tops.. (one can but hope)...

No prizes for guessing the nature and subject of todays observation, as the title clearly gives it away, and as for being given away,or caught playing away, i will move smartly on to my thoughts on the whole process of affairs, infidelity, and betrayal.. Did a few of you just move and squirm a little uncomfortably in your designer chairs as you digested that comment!!!!Well, don't, this is not a personal slur or attack, or an attempt to vilify anyone or anybody, just a series of random thoughts and opinions furnished by me, so sit back, put your feet up with a coffee, tea, or beverage of choice and enjoy, Or not, matters not to me either way, as i told you before, popularity contests are not trophy's i seek out, only to deliver my views on the world, and some of its interesting debatable topics which are there to be attacked, and discussed.

Is monogamy actually losing its status as a pre requisite for a happy relationship/marriage etc?, and, is anybody out there actually truly monogamous?What i can safely state is that we are not as monogamous as we once was as a collective species, and here's why, and this is not open for debate.. We may not be having full blown affairs like high profile public figures such as John Terry, Tiger Woods, That midget serial philanderer Ashly Cole, or that once wholesome presenter Vernan Kaye, to name but a few, but Are those extended flirtations we embark on, the serious and not so serious dalliances, special, ostensibly so called platonic lunch dates with people we see more regularly than we'd like our partners to know about considered healthy and normal, and above all within the boundaries of fidelity.? Depends on your definition of fidelity i would presume!

Maybe, maybe not, but we are certainly pushing the envelope and barriers with a whole host of mediums available to each and everyone of us.

Text messages, Face book, Twitter, Bebo, ''sit on myface, or is it space.??)''ETC ETC.. These interfacing mediums have allowed and encouraged us all to explore flirtation, whilst giving us a feeling of protection, almost like a cyber sheath, and as a modern world presents us with numerous ways to cheat, Is betrayal or infidelity the nemesis we think it is?

Does the overly suggestive text to the new girl from the gym mean you are an unfaithful bastard in waiting, well, you certainly would not want your partner reading its ambiguous content, thats for sure, but is that cheating on some kind of level,? does the sexually charged content make you less faithful to your partner than you used to be, before the advent of Texts and the internet made it oh so easy and readily available. Can one take the moral high ground and plausibly claim monogamy when they readily partake in extreme flirting via text messages with a-nother, aside from the partner and exchange content and feelings of such warmth and ambiguous desire, however veiled, or obvious they dress it up??Is this acceptable,in a modern relationship?.

Affairs in my opinion have become the new divorce, and more and more people are embarking on them as a way to rejuvenate the boring, almost failed marriage, or at least prolong it a little longer, you know, where the time spent suffering has reached a reasonable time frame where your Old Catholic Mum, Priest and neighborhood will openly declare ''Well, she tried her best, 9 years is a fair and honest time line, she really tried you know to make it work, and he is hard work you know to live with!!", Whilst for 5 of those years, she was sucking some guy inside out and upside down, and whilst the husband was busy playing with his Racket, the ever doting wife was studying the soles of her feet in the wing mirrors of her lovers car.... Tell you what though, affairs are a face lift and anti depressant all in one, but without the price tag,( well for Women at least) unless of course you are the man who gets caught with his trousers down, which then becomes the most expensive nip and tuck you'l ever have!! Hookers on tap for an eternity will not cost what it will take to pay off the scorned wife, so guys be warned, this affair nonsense is heavily skewed towards lining the pocket of your Wife, who has been screwing the gardener since the new pool went in anyway.. The female empowerment movement has come along way, and gathering pace, but equality when faced with proof of infidelity is still way back in the dark ages..

So Guys ,a word of warning.Its no longer accepted that cheating is a mans domain, and that we are built as a species to do exactly that. No longer can you drag your fair maidens back to the cave, lay them face down in straw and be knee deep in pussy for a couple of hours, before its time to pick the wife up from The gym, where she has spent the afternoon with a couple of mates extolling the skills of her African lover with a cock like a fire hydrant.. Nope siree, the game has well and truly changed.

Statistics relating to cheating are some what misty, as its not the kind of thing people want to admit to, but what is incontestable is that men will overstate numbers and conquests, where women will understate their own indiscretions, but a figure as high as 45% of couples in long term marriages will have or are having affairs, or will be unfaithful at some point which is nice..lol

Logic dictates we are having more affairs than our ancestors, we are presented with ample opportunity to cheat, we work more, travel more with friends, and consequently away from the family home for longer periods of time.This evolving landscape of technology means we are connected sometimes intensely and continuously with many more people than before, and technology has also meant the very definition of infidelity has broadened.

Emotional cheating has become increasingly common place in this modern world, entire affairs are played out online, intense relationships, which may or may not blur the lines of friendship are everywhere,which may flourish via the intimacy of the dreaded text message and embraced as normal, but still played out in relative secrecy, behind locked mobile phones, deleted threads and texts, and password protected files... And yet remain incredibly reverent about and attached to the idea of monogamy, which seems to be a contradiction of the highest order.

En mass as a collective, we are critical of other peoples infidelities and rather sanctimonious, especially when it involves a public figure with a high profile. Look how we raked that black golfer, whose name escapes me right now, Woody, wood pecker, or something like that was stripped of his endorsements for laying the dark pipe pretty much around the globe, with a string of very average females if the the truth be told.. Come on, what was he thinking..These girls, who by all accounts were blessed with a certain set of attributes, a shaven snatch piece, and the ability to suck a large orange through a tight straw, but little else.Did he think he could get away with it indefinitely!!!.. And the Women, who crawled out of the woods work like maggots from a rotten apple had an agenda of their own...Sisters were certainly doing it for themselves, and a girl gotta get paid, right???. Well paid they were, and humiliated the Woodsman was, and we all gloated and pointed the fingers, like a bunch of hyenas, fucking hypocrites we are and just like sheep we act with this herd like mentality, following the majority... But gutless when it comes to opposing the norm, inflicted in to us by the Fascist media machine we pay handsomely to read and glean our daily information from.

We condemn the unfaithful publicly and gossip about them privately, we condemn ourselves when we transgress, and lose ourselves to guilt and suffer identity crises.'' How could we do this, what have i done?" ''This isn't who we are, and what its come to''. Spilt milk, and crying springs to mind once again, you fucking spineless jellyfish.. Take what you want and need, then detach and run and hide..

Why do we live this dichotomized existence? why do we support the idea of monogamy so heartily while not being able to be faithful?. Why do we persist on having affairs, persist in believing the dream when we are not comfortable with or especially capable of either??

Society has lost its way a tad i feel, and although i am all for the empowerment of the female, and the re-addressing of the ying and yang balance which has been heavily tittled towards male dominance for far to long, this new age movement of the female, coinciding with TV exposure of series such as desperate housewives, sex and the city, californication et al, we have traveled way to far up the see-saw and now the balance has been tipped in favor of the gentler sex, although Girls, don't go burning your bra's and removing your panties just yet in a bid for liberation. As i write there are still nine countries where a woman can be killed for being unfaithful, and many more where you will be stoned for as much as getting your teeth stuck on your top lip, which is ironic, as for some of you, thats as close as it gets to a genuine smile..

I am not advocating double standards, far from it, but unless you girls pull the reigns in and start controlling the game and not being the game, then each gender will find themselves awfully confused as to their roles in life and society in general, and if you don't, it wont be long before men, like the honey bee will start to become a redundant life form, as you can choose the sex, and characteristics of your ideal child from a good book. and the turkey baster, and sperm milk shake of your choice will be all you'll need to go it alone, but girls you dont want that, not really..You may think you enjoy controlling proceedings, and evening up the score for the past 2000 years, but underneath, you all still want a man to be a man, to take control, to make you feel safe, to protect and to take you into his cave and smash the back out of you..

Shit, got carried away.. Thats exactly what you are doing, just not with your husband or partner.

Humanity is foooooked...

Oh well, if cant beat them, join them!!!... Now where's my club......................

Until the next time, MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU