You've never been to Jamaica you idiots.

Right, first my apologies to my readers who have asked me very nicely, and even appealed to my easily flatterd ego with huge compliments, to write some more observations through the eye's of moi, but unfortunately, my creative juices have not been cascading down from my grey matter and into my fingers, and finally on to my laptop, where i seem to amuse you guys with my sledgehammer delivery and caustic wit.



T'IS THE 29TH OF SEPTEMBER 2009



Anyway, whilst talking to my girlfriend on Skype 5 mins ago, she asked me had i written anything lately, to which i replied, ''of course i haven't, you are on my e mail list and would know, right''???..Wrong, she is many things, but attentative to her e mails is not one of her strengths, unless a large bottle of red or white wine, or any type of alchohol for that matter is promised if she opens her inbox, and guys, that is not a sexual ambiguos statement, but a reference to , oh come on, you know what i mean guys, and thats my girlfriend we are talking about here, so no witty remarks at the bottom...Sacred ground.... lol.



So, todays observation came from a brief scoot around facebook earlier and scanning peoples status updates, i was horrified at the amount of illteracy which has crept, no, scrub that, bulldozed its way into our everyday lives, and English had been replaced by a combination of patwa(jamaican slang, and text speak gobblygook). And the biggest culprits of this abomination are the Girls between the ages of 13 to 20, who it would seem are trying desperately to appear street cool, but are coming across as just cheap and remarkably stupid, considering the majority of them come from good homes with loving parents and a good education... Let me give you an example from a couple of random threads i looked at, and here is the first beauty to get the ball rolling.''Sumody tell mi sey yuh dida talk bout mi" which loosely translates into ''Somebody told me you were talking about me,'' and to follow a little further down we have this pearl of wisdom.''mi come here fi drink milk, mi noh come here fi count cow'' which again means if my Patwa, slang is up to much means, a reminder to conduct business in a straightforward manner, lol, which again in layman terms means, stop talking about me behind my back, and concentrate on your own life and dont bother yourself with mine.. Which is all good words of wisdom, but why oh why would an eductated white girl want to convey her message like that??

Fucko me, where did these deliquents learn to communicate like this, its certainly not on the streets of Kingston Jamaica, more like kingston in the stockbroker belt of Surrey, so why in all that is holy would you want to speak in such a manner.Let me tell you, its not cool, its fucking stupid, especially when the girls talking this shit are barely into their teens, and the next Jamaican accessory they will be picking up, if they are not carefull is a new born with a decent sun tan, with the brain surgeon, nasa rocket scientist of a father no where to be seen, especially in the dark.Literally as he will far to busy impregnating the next 14 year old starlet who dreams of acceptance, and thinks this is the golden ticket to the big show///Wrong again, its a one way ticket to a life of hardship... But hey, your life, royally fuck it up, why should i care???? Well, i do bloody care, and if the parents did a little more with the right approach through education, communication and discipline, it might just make a difference..



Another thread i stumbled across read like this.

''oh your so lovely BITCH you don't even know who the father of your own baby is, sket. luvaluva bombastic''
4 hours ago

anonymous, (to protect the author) replies
oh go home you smelly tramp. at least i dont have unprotected sex in a grave yard. NO.
4 hours ago


actualzzz love it waz in a church get it right mate, and at least I dident get licked out by a squirrel u nasty scrag watch wen I next c u
4 hours ago

err. LICKED OUT BY A SQUIRELL? at least i didnt have sex with a monkey whilst pkaying dirty with an elephant. you stupid sket. when you next see me? you'll have no face bbzz..Lovely.!!



What a beautiful way to communicate with each other, and this was between two girls who i know had a very good upbringing..and are no older than 14

What ever happened to . ''Hey, fancy coming swimming later?'' or ''shall we go the cinema''..You know, civil, normal, nice ......Nope sireeeee, thats just not cool, we are meeting in town, with our skirts short enough to see what colored thong we have on, like a pack of baying hyeenas to bully and intimidate anyone who talks wiv a posh voice, ennit.. . and to chat ole heep of sheet wiv each other innit.....LOL......





I can only imgine what it must be like for a parent to have to witness the transition from sweet innocent child to a teenager with raging hormones, developing body, drugs, alcohol, and Bob Marleys children knocking at their door to see if he can take her to the notting hill carnival.. I have all this to come i guess when i finally become a father myself, but i will guarantee the mother, the fruit of my loins will never convert from English speaking to rastafari street slang , not as long as i am in their lives ennit.

The world is off its fucking rocker, and i blame the parents for lack of discipline and taking their eyes of the ball when the game was in full swing.!!To steal a metaphor



MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU.