Sunday, March 15, 2009

The science of Orgasm


Greetings, been a while.

A tad busy of late, catching up with old friends in the UK, but back on the palm Monday, so will be looking for scandalous material to embarrass the locals.


T'is the 14Th of March, 2009.

Today i want to make a few comments on the female BIG 'O' and what are the cause and effects, but more importantly the definitive factors behind them.


Now This particular blog is certain to prove controversial, suggesting that women are inherently programmed to be gold-diggers. Well, ho hum, fuck it, not here to win popularity contests, and by the way this research is backed up by scientific research, so yes essentially I am saying that... BUT like all research We are talking majorities here,Not all!!!!!. So the genuine girls out there, ignore this....


Scientists have found that the pleasure women get from making love is directly linked to the size of their partner’s bank balance, and little to do with the size of his wedding tackle, so we have been lied to all along.. Conclusion.. A 10 inch roll of fifty's is far more satisfying than ten inches of battered sausage it would seem.. The wealthier a man is, the more frequently his partner has orgasms. fact..( I AM AS SURPRISED AS YOU BY THIS GIRLS, SO DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER)


“Women’s orgasm frequency increases with the income of their partner,”


I believe this phenomenon must be an “evolutionary adaptation” that is hard-wired into women, driving them to select men on the basis of their perceived qualities, especially there ability to provide a high standard of living it would appear.. Although a good sense of humour, intellect and aesthetically pleasing on the eye complete the package,but behind the wealth factor!!!!

However, it fits into a wider body of research known as evolutionary psychology which suggests that both men and women are genetically predisposed to ruthlessly exploit each other to achieve the best chances of survival for their genes , and i don't mean g star , nor rockin republic.


The female orgasm is the focus of much research because it appears to have no reproductive purpose. Women can become pregnant whatever their pleasure levels, and like the clitoris, it serves zero purpose other than to experience pleasure, but the clitoris has twice the amount of nerve endings than our own Purple headed warrior.. That's fucking mental... Can you imagine guys, twice the feeling.. I wouldn't leave the house!!!


Increasing partner income had a highly positive effect on women’s self-reported frequency of orgasm. More desirable and wealthy mates cause women to experience more orgasms,This is not an effect limited to any particular women. Previous research in Germany and America has looked at attributes such as body symmetry and attractiveness, finding that these are also linked with orgasm frequency, as explained earlier,but Money, however, seems even more important..


Even short guys with Napoleonic syndrome who walk around banging their heads on coffee tables most days are familiar with that unmistakable rapid contraction of the most important part of the female when they got a bank full of loot...( Connor, how are u son)


Very Sad, but true. Well, sad for the paupers and peasants..Does not bother me in the slightest, as i am neither poor, nor unattractive.Must apologise for my lack of confidence and inferiority complex..


Many a wealthy man has fallen for that old Meg Ryan act, as our fragile male ego's are massaged and tweaked into a false sense of security, only to be dumped unceremoniously when a better option is presented,or the recession takes a dump on your head and you lose that hedge fund managers position..

But fear not the mega rich, trust me, the only one's doing the dumping will be you, as you look for the next Meg Ryan wanna be,who will be queuing around the block to convince you, she's the one to make all your dreams come true.. She will shout, wail, call you daddy, and scream the fucking house down, as those merc ml 500 car keys with a bow around them are falling from your Armani suit pocket....plus the deeds to that shoreline penthouse are signed over to her..


So,the female orgasm, the holy grail of the pauper male, it does exist, just not that often for the road sweeper or the guy who asks if u want fries with that, or can i super size that for you madame..( i bet you girls wished your other halves could do that,hey...lol) so if you want to join in gentlemen, better get a proper job,get paid, and as your salary increases, so will the groans moans and hence, the ultimate reward.. And guess what, this is not sexist nonsense, this is scientific fact..


Don't believe me..... ref this..“Women’s orgasm frequency increases with the income of their partner,” Dr Thomas Pollet, the Newcastle University psychologist behind this dynamic research..


So Poor girls, as this recession bites harder and harder, and males are losing there wealth quicker than Dwain Chambers running from a drug test , your sexual satisfaction will also suffer, if we are to believe this scientific research....


Oh well ,D.I.Y wont make you blind,promise, contrary to what the catholic church tells you... So, let those fingers do the walking ladies until the economy is booming again.That way, your guaranteed THE BIG 'O'


UNTIL THE NEXT TIME, MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU






8 comments:

  1. Another very enjoyable read. Blending amusing comedy with interesting content.

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  2. By the way, is that you in the picture with the girl? at top of page

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  3. Yes, that is indeed myself, with my Girlfriend in the Dubai desert.

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  4. That Geraldine from Chile sounds a little bit weird. I am guessing she is not for real. I am the only Geraldine from Chile. Love the last one by the way.

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  5. Why thankyou for the positive comment on my last blog... Busy scribbling content for new one..
    Lol.. @weird..

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  6. I am both very real, and a very real inhabitant of Chile.. Santiago. Strange thing to say G.
    Nice picture Johntomas

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  7. FUNNY FUNNY. poor ugly guys have no luck at all..

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  8. It would certainly look that way.Oh well, they will be rewarded in the next life, and i will come back as Fruit fly to further my spiritual evolvement.. lol

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I encourage healthy debate, so please tell me your thoughts and appreciate the feedback