THE RISE AND RISE OF THE NANNY.....

T'IS FRIDAY.. 6TH OF FEB 2009

This particular blog was inspired by a talk i had today with a single mother, which was interesting, as this particular subject generates a lot of passion, both for, and against with heated exchanges common place when being openly discussed, and this my friends is the dramatic rise of the Nanny, or a third world servant, if you will, who gets paid an absolute pittance to take the place of the biological mother, who more often than not has no job herself, but finds the idea of changing a nappy, or waking up to feed the infant, or cooking for the family more terrifying than going to a house party thrown by Fred &Rose West...(look it up, lazy sods).

More often than not these Filipino nannies leave their own children they love behind, for the financial survival of their own family's, and fall in love with their temporary charges while their male and female employers liberate themselves from drudgery.

And the reward for this adoration they shower on the adopted offspring..

They are locked her in their bedroom at night and searched every time they leave the house to make sure they hadn't stolen the spoons, or tacky local jewelry, adorned by these professional trophy wives....

Or, going through the indignation of being beaten about their person with a large stick of celery, when the growing offspring calls out ''mammy ''to the fear stricken replacement mother.But is it any wonder, when the child wakes with the nanny, and goes to sleep with the nanny..The poor confused child has no option..

I consider myself worldly, and well travelled, and seen most things, including trends which come and go, so how did i miss the rise of the super nanny.. Growing up in a loving, large household, with 6 siblings, and not a Filipino called Fang in sight, found it intriguing to observe this phenomena unfold before my eyes.

The second wave of feminism had yet to roar in, but as i grew, working class and middle-class women brought up their own children, Completely radical, hey?. ( A collective, ''oh my god, they must be mad, how did they cope'') roar can be heard across the land now, by single child bearing mothers, who's sole existence is to shop, preen, and talk banal nonsense with like minded friends all day via sms or skype.... unless they are busy getting their nails or hair done for the trophy husbands tedious functions which seem to crop up at least once a week....

They coped, because, funnily enough, it was believed at the time, the reason for having a child was to love, nurture, discipline and shower with affection unconditional love for this miracle of the universe, and to watch him/her grow in a stable loving environment, whilst being taught the wonderment's of the world.....Again, truly radical hey.... Who would believe such nonsense in Dubai's world.( he says, with tongue very firmly in cheek)..

To glimpse a nanny pushing a pram when i was a young adult was as rare as seeing a dirty old beggar on the streets of Monaco with copies of the big issue and a dirty old flat cap beside the array of Bentley's, asking for change for the night shelter.. Like rocking horse shit, rare as fuck....

I understand to a certain degree the Professional couple syndrome, the couple, who draw high salaries throughout their careers, they have become an engine which wrenches the classes apart. The woman, and by extension her partner, rely on equality between the sexes enforced by equal pay acts, anti-discrimination legislation. But as sexual inequality has declined, inequalities of wealth have shot up, and nannies are everywhere keeping the professional marriage in business.

But why have a child, if the sole purpose is to carry on working from the day it is propelled into being on the back of a stream of profanities, (OK girls, you get a pass on that one, swear and curse away, i can only imagine the pain, though i hear now, some of you experience a birth orgasm...ummm, must be the sheer size...its all about the girth hey.)) Now i know why Black guys are so popular.. Fuckers... envy will get me everywhere....

But the way the locals treat their nannies is questionable at best...How can A drop of water on ludicrously impractical teak kitchen surface produce a tantrum; or a failure to obey the most trivial command produced a screaming fit which could wake the dead...

But to serve the child an array of sugary snacks which contains zillions of unwanted or needed calories, is greeted with a smile, as the child rapidly turns into a mini bouncy castle, and grows yet another chin.... STRANGE TIMES INDEED WE LIVE IN

One more thing.Have you noticed that Filipino' all have names that mean something obscure.

This particular Woman who i talk to, her name is ,Baboyan, which means a place for pigs, i shit you not.. why any loving parent would heap a lifetime of name calling, and misery, on to their offspring is a mystery..Imagine the proud parents on holding the newly born miracle, they openly declare the child is to be called a name which translates exactly as A PLACE FOR PIGS..

I can only hazard a guess, its got something to do with the conception ritual of where germination took place... They sure fuck in style ...

But, this Girl is aptly named, as the place for pigs darling is between your box room, and the second bathroom, that's right, the master suite, where indeed the Pigs are busy squealing and hiding your passport in case you see the light and run away....Be Careful, they are sharpening the celery as i write...

Until the next time...

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU