MISOGYNIST, MOI.!!!!!

TI'S Thursday night, 5Th of Feb, 2009,and whilst the elite of Dubai are now ploughing through yet another bottle of Shampoo, and at a zillion ding dons a pop,( paid for by the ''I'm the man around here pimp daddy'')

I, John Tomas sits alone with his thoughts whilst reflecting and pondering on the world, and what 09 has in store for us.....

For your pleasure, or disdain, or whichever emotion i stir whilst reading my blog, I will proceed.....

A few women who read this blog have accused me of being a misogynist, which is just not true, if anything I'm a lesbian trapped inside a mans body, a male feminist almost, which you have to be these days if you want to get your end away... JOKE...... Honestly girls, i am your biggest fan, and if you read my blogs carefully, i am forever praising you, and to not forget your inherent beauty, and to kick the losers to the kerb.....

So today, just for you Ladies, i will take a look at the idiosyncratic traits of the modern man....

Modern Homo Sapien......
Chemical symbol..(ah).... Short for Arsehole.
Quantitative: Accepted at 7 inches , though some models,can be as short as 4 inches., poor sods, I wont even mention the Asian men who stretch the tape to a whopping 3 inches, with zero girth.. But a billion Chinese cant be wrong, so although tiny, the most functional tools out there... Girls, so unless you want kids, ,may i suggest 10 condoms at least for added purchase,or a night of,'' is it in yet'' will occur..

Discovered by Eve (discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs).. think about it...

Natural habitat is: Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen, then moving on quickly to another Wo specimen as soon as bodily fluids have been exchanged...

Physical properties of AH..

1. Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense, melts if treated like a God.
2. Obnoxious FUCK WITS, when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol).
3. Tends to fall into very low energy state, or more often ,coma, directly after reaction with Woman's most prized possession.... (Snore... zzzzz).
4. Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature, but still adores himself and thinks he is irresistible to Wo...
5. Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick and Rarely found in pure form after 14Th year.
6. When pressure is applied, becomes stiff and unyielding; yields only when subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied..predictability ,the strongest emotion AH possess

Chemical properties unique to MAN.

1. All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible May react with several Woman variety's in short period under extremely favorable conditions.
2. Usually willing to react with whatever is available., although Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-existent to pre-interaction effects which tend to turn the specimen bright red on knock back..
3. When saturated with alcohols, will be fairly inert, abusive and will repel most other elements, apart from cheap female equivalent, who is equally repulsive//
4. Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.

And last, but most importantly AH will be repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the high pitched screeching variety.

Best utilised for lifting Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners and drinks, followed by gifts of great value, for shallow Wo... Can be used for recreational activities,

Pure specimens will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths, and tangents
Word of Caution: Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very easily manipulated under correct conditions..

You see Ladies, its just not you that i pass comment on, in fact, that review could well of been written by a misandrist , the opposite to a misogynist..(a person who hates persons of the male sex), a rare word but seemingly much sought-after word these days, if all the crying and moaning i here you girls do on the beach is anything to go by...

Fuck me, well dip myself in dog shit, i think i have just become a misandrist.... Its a phase, it will pass.... Fellas you know where my loyalty's lie really... Phew, had a moment then, now back to reality..

But its certainly a mans world out here, foooo showerrrrr.... No doubt.... As long as you got game, but more importantly..Green,Coin, Dollar, and lots of it.... In fact, peter Beardsley and Ian Dowie could pull like Johnny Depp out here, as long as you have guest list, Table, and Alcohol a plenty... Easy peezy, lemon squezzy....FO Reeeeelllllll..

I have seen the ugliest specimen of man at after party's with very easy on the eye females acting like gyrating porno-rific starletts sniffing his sweaty briefs to show how sexy they are,Nice...

And girls laying around with a bottle of belvedere on her pubic bone? as the fella uses that indentation on the waistline, pubic area to slurp giant gulps from..Great work if you can get it girls,, jobs a good UN.....

Or the Girls who are uncontrollably compelled to maul her man for the night who is wearing sex panther cologne, with essence of real panther, that seems to make her go weak at the knees, .. When in fact he smells like a jungle rat who's been sleeping in sly Stallone's jock strap all night...Enough already Girls..

If he smells like a skunk, tell him... That fragile ego will mend.. Maybe your expense account will not though, so on the other hand... ummmm best not, hey

So Guys ,Splash on the sex panther, and get yourself down to Sanctuary, and find yourself an all sniffing, all complimentary WO.... And who said romance was dead..

Until the next time..

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU