Palm Enders.. New Years Eve... (bleached Arseholes)

Greetings one and all From a Cold and dark room somewhere in the UK.,
my temporary retreat until the 9th of Jan, where i will be once again, back on the Palm....

Tis Wednesday, 31st of December......

Lets have a look at a few random things and thoughts today, with know real direction, just a collection of observations, and i would like to start with Xmas TV in the UK...

It never gets any better, and still panders to the illiterate, brain dead moronic moron's who wallow in an alcohol, Mince pie, and too much of everything induced coma, waking intermittently to The Royal family who are also sat on the sofa, in a comatose state with there Primark woollies proudly on display.. And Jim Royal, and his family are no better......(think about it..)duhhhh

Talking of things royal, i must share this fact with you.
Did you know, the antiquated traditional Guard who stands, statue like outside Buck Palace, unable to move for hours, still wear stupid hats made from the fur of Black Bears, which cost the UK tax payer. £320,000 a year to facilitate this ridiculous tradition, and a 1o0 bears a year a slaughtered to keep making these fucking things..
As an alternative, may i suggest synthetic, or lets make a couple from the Queens pubic region, or Prince Charles Arse fur.....Better still, do away with that old rocking chair Prince Phillip and make an array of hats, gloves shoes etc with his carcass.., that way, he becomes useful, something that parasite has not been since he was produced from some reptilian hybrid womb centuries ago.

Some new readers who have found my blog have asked me to tone down the language and religious comments...as they feel its spoiling the humour...To them i say simply this.''GET FUCKED''
YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T FUCKING READ IT, SO HAVE A HAPPY GAY BISHOP ARSE RIDING NEW QUEER''

I look at the world as an agnostic realist, and not here to win popularity contests, only to relay my thougths on how i see the world... it's called democracy, that last bastion of freedom before that's also taken from us from the big brother, Illuminati controlled nanny state which is spreading like a cancer quicker than you can shake a stick........

Talking of religion, the church are now offering an i-pod mini in return for one new soul.., Not a bad offer in my humble opinion.. My advise, Sign away your eternal soul to the church, grab your mp3 player then renounce your vows, before the brainwashing starts.. The big Fella will forgive you, he's omnipotent and i hear he has a wicked sense of humour, so will see the funny side in blagging an i-pod.... dial 0800 godpod for details...

''AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE'' but it'll piss you off 1st.



I bet the catholic/christian readers here have faces now redder than the devils dick...

''CHEESUS CRUST'', lighten up.... Actually, not a bad name that for a religious pizza franchise that.. TM.. my patent lawyer is watching.....

Funniest thing i experienced at Xmas was my girlfriend licking her cats fur,and no, that's not a metaphor, its a real cat, with real fur.. consequently, she was choking and spluttering for hours after coughing up fur balls, but still insisted it was better than choking on my balls.
And who said romance was dead......)
She was joking of course, as within the hour she was bucking like an epileptic at a strobe lighting convention..sat astride yours truly..)

A message for the girls of Dubai and the Palm......
This year,Keep kissing plenty of frogs, and you may just lift the spell and find your Prince charming under one of those Dishdash's.. Good luck, and let me know if you find one


Final observation....
I hear that the latest must have in our quest for eternal beauty is... wait for it.....
THE BLEACHED ARSEHOLE.... and I'm not talking about an albino who talks shit all night.....

Nope, i mean the starfish of the north....i kid you not,
what the fuck is wrong with the world when women, and now men are having peroxide painted on the that most delicate and personal of areas...
Below is a comical review of how i imagine things to go.

''I was reluctant at first but was suprised at the “clean” feeling just knowing that my anus is now fit for public viewing. I can whip my trousers down anytime and no longer have to worry about the “big brown eye” I recommend that everyone should bleach their anus - Frank, from texas

Thank god I found anal bleaching when I did. My bum hole was a real bad colour due to over 30 years of use. Now that my anus has been bleached, it’s like I have a new arsehole all ready to go again! - Nik, the palm

I know some of you people have this problem, and fortunately I’m here to help. I found a place where you can purchase a 2.5 oz. tub of an anal bleaching cream for only $9.99 . A lot of products sell for a whole lot more than that. If you’re interested (and I know you are.let me know). michael barrymore

If anyone out there reading this knows of somebody who has this done, please drop me a line.. I promise not to mention it..... lol......................

Until the next time... HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY.................

THE PALM IS WATCHING YOU




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