Ageism and Humour ...

Sat alone last week i contemplated writing a blog on the ever increasing shift in consciousness which has enveloped the planet and the awakening from this deep slumber which has kept humanity firmly entrenched within this emotional prison without bars, five sense reality, which resonates on such a narrow frequency, and was actually excited about explaining the levels of differing dimensions which surround us, but are unable to tune into, due to the dense frequency of this illusionary reality we perceive as fact.

But, I turned the TV on and Madonna was cavorting about the stage in a very revealing pair of shorts and decided to have a butchers.( Hows that for polarity).

With me in the room was my girlfriend and two of her Latvian hotties who are staying with me for a week, plus a couple more friends whose company i enjoy immensely.

Anyway, whilst having a good look at Madge simulating various positions of the Karma Sutra, one of my friends stated, as the iconic sex symbol dropped into side splits and a very tidy camels toe seemed to be on display; ''Really, she should know better at her age!!''

''Better what'?' I replied, which started an in depth, and often hilarious debate about age, and Ageism, and how we live in an age obsessed culture.

Greetings, T'is the 26th of January, 2011.

Before I continue, may I express in defence of Madonna and her over sized genitalia, there is nothing wrong with as Borat so eloquently stated, having ''A sleeve of Wizard'', and to be honest, I rather enjoy Merlin's cloak wrapped around my ears on a cold winters night, so to all those Women out there who are concerned with getting a snip and a tuck down there, DON'T!!. It's like slapping God in the face and you don't want to piss the all knowing all seeing omnipotent MYTHICAL creature up there playing his harp and stroking his wand...

So, old is the new young, and growing old disgracefully has to be the way forward. Well it is for me, and remaining Peter Panesque is the elixir of youth, well, that and laughter, which as we all know is the best medicine ever made, complimented by small doses of growth hormone, but that's another story.

We are, as a society consumed with age, and its not because I am now just entering my fourth decade why I have chosen to highlight this fact, I have always wondered why this strange phenomena exists. Why the fuck does it matter, unless you are a cheese or a wine? How old would we be if we had no birth records or passports to remind us? Exactly, ageless. I think this obsession with age and the secrecy which surrounds it comes from the ego and fragile insecurities of the female. Think about it.

Consumed with how many years they have existed, and are incapable of telling the truth once past 37. If you really want to know how old a Woman is, ask her sister in law, ;) and the years that she subtracts are never lost, they are added to the ages of other Women, i kid you not...( Thirty is a nice age for a Woman.Especially if she happens to be 42).

Oscar Wilde once stated.'' Never trust a woman who tells you her real age, a woman who does would tell anything''. An amusing statement agreed, but Surely Old Oscar was to busy receiving large portions of gentleman sausage to have taken note of such profound thoughts...

I have a more basal concept than Oscar W. Most women are as old as they look before breakfast, and I know plenty who look great at dusk and with the light behind them and the dimmer switch turned way down low..... :)

Ladies, I know this is unfair, but we males just seem to age better, or is it again society has tricked us into believing we do. Unlike yourselves, the three ages of man are, youth, middle age, and ''You're looking wonderful!!''

opposed to the three ages of Women which are, Babe, middle aged bored housewife, and driving Miss Daisy.. Don't shoot the messenger here, I am just telling it as it is and for the record i don't agree with all of it, only 99.95%

Ladies, fight it all you want, and I don't care if your plastic surgeon is top of your Xmas card list and you swap flirty texts with him.. For all the advancement in medicine, there is no cure for the common birthday..

I know 1000's of women, and age to them is like Kryptonite to Superman and it shouldn't be like this. I love Women in the forties as long as they look in their thirties, so don't panic, its all good.

Joking aside, we are obsessed with numbers. Every newspaper article describes in detail the age of things and are pointlessly attached to all and sundry.

Mr Joe Blow 43 with his daughter Tiffany,9 were chasing a rabbit, 2 when they tripped over a root of a tree 126, and both received 7 stitches, performed by a young nurse,19 with only 6 months experience.

you see, ingrained into our psyche. It's almost like being punished for a crime you did not commit, and no one escapes. It will eventually happen to every single occupant who checks out from this mortal coil barring a premature demise.Therefore

we should all revere age and respect it, like other cultures do. The Japanese for instance mend broken objects by filling in the cracks with gold because they believe that when somethings suffered damage and has a history

it becomes more valuable and beautiful.Any society that fails to recognise this and does not learn to value its older citizens is plainly off their fucking rockers!!.We are all getting older, so ageism is like Turkeys voting for Christmas, think about it.

It's our own ignorance and fear which is the root cause. A dread of our own deterioration and mortality adds to the fears and revulsion of old people who are constant reminders of the inevitability which is unavoidable.Maybe that why suicide rates among the middle aged is on the increase, and dying young and leaving a good looking corpse is the reasoning behind it.

Role model celebrities do nothing to ease the situation either, nor a society obsessed with physical beauty and a media which pays no credence to the real beauty of the soul within a person.

None fear the ageing process more than celebrities or wannabe socialites whose whole social standing depends on the misconstrued perception of themselves, seen through the eyes of others. Its bullshit, without substance or merits, but never the less the shallow and empty just roll along, not truly understanding the nature of who we truly are at our source, and that this borrowed vehicle we call a body and skin stretched over a skeleton will soon be a distant memory, and back to dust we go from whence we came.. And then what. A vacuous space and a young soul that must come back again to evolve and grow and learn the importance of being, and not just existing in this illusory state of consciousness.

I have to laugh when I see today's celebrities paying collagen enhanced lip service to growing old gracefully but then hot foot it to their plastic surgeon to be nipped and tucked and liposuctioned within an inch of their lives before appearing on Oprah to share their sordid tales of sex and drug addictions, multiple marriages and partners and how many bottles of fine champagne they can bathe in, but how many will admit to having a face lift.. Lets face it, pretty much nobody, which seems strange, as everybody with a modicum of intelligence can see clearly, especially when our modern TVs will highlight every conceivable blemish, scar, and re arrangement ever made. Even funnier is the pema grin which I think was made famous by the Joker from the Batman stories where the skin has been pulled so fucking tightly that to blow there noses, they have to part their bloody hair... I have no issue with self improvement or surgery of any kind if it enhances ones own life, but not at the expense of losing touch with what's really important in life, and that is love and empathy and compassion for all sentient beings and not this fucking hierarchical class system based on total bullshit and illusion.

So welcome the bus pass and the wisdom which comes with an advancement in years and for all the Ladies out there battling with all things youthful. It's OK, There is good news after the menopause.The hairs on your legs begin to thin and get so light, no one will notice, which is great because it means you will more time to work on that new moustache and five o clock shadow which will greet you each morning... OOPS

Take care, and love each other.It's the only real thing which exists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU