Well, it's been some time since I put fingers to key board and offended anyone through my at times cynical observations which made me plenty of admirers, but alas, caused others to construct miniature dolls of me, stick pins where the sun doesn't shine and walk anti clockwise around bonfires, chanting in Latin whilst declaring me to be the Anti-Christ in the attempt to infect me with some type of voodoo ailment which would cause my balls to shrivel and my prized manhood to whither and die...Well, to be honest, my balls have been aching lately, but my sword of life is still capable of supporting a sodden beach towel at 90 degrees, especially first thing in the morning, which, if honest is more a product of Male bio mechanics and nature playing its part than my ability to ''Keep Wood'' as they say in the porn industry... Matters not, it's still a mighty impressive sight, if I say so myself!!!..
T'is the 12/12/12 which just had to be celebrated with a Johntomas666 rant... Welcome to my World once again, from a Sunny Dubai, and this date will be honored by a blog which will contain I hope, many interesting as well as comical observations... Enjoy.
Any Man who has a modicum of intelligence will know very well that the male and female of the species are as different as well, Man and Woman, and those who don't are either in shitty, soon to be over relationships, or sat on their sofas with a box of Kleenex, pulling themselves inside out, whilst watching very badly dubbed Swedish Porn. and wondering why they just can't find someone that will make them happy and who understands them and their needs... Let me help you out here. First you need to understand what that most complex of entities wants and desires, that's right, the Woman!!!
1... What she does not want is a complete walk over, a wanker of the highest order and an embarrassment to mankind and any Woman who tells you that is not just fooling you, she is fooling herself, for what she has is a slave, and this my friend will end, very prematurely with an exit visa stamped on your fucking forehead whilst you run around like a headless chicken , in an emotional wreck crying into your green tea ''What did I do wrong, I gave that fucking bitch everything!''... Well, limp dick, you just answered your own question, ''You gave her everything, and yourself nothing!!!''when what she really wanted was for you to grow a set of balls and say..''listen, cut that shit out right now and start respecting me, or me and you will be falling out, got that!''And the one word that will gain you more respect than any other is ''NO!'' but say it with feeling and energy and fucking well mean it.!!! Now, that my friends would be a start in the right direction.
2...Equally, they want a strong guy, but not a macho-bullshit type of guy who every time you go out wants to impress you by threatening anyone who just happens to look up and catch your eye. These types have more insecurities than that lot described above, and are left equally as fast by a modern Woman, once of course she gets over the fear he is going to throw her off the balcony if she dare leave him, which some will manipulate the Woman into believing, and alas, there are many of these dysfunctional fucks ups who control their Girls through fear, and do not have an ounce of respect for those that they claim to love... This bunch of clowns would not know the meaning of the word L.O.V.E if it was rammed down their throats by the Dalai Lama himself...
3... What they do love however is Confidence and resourcefulness with clarity of purpose.
What does this mean I hear you ask? well you must have direction. The ability to Figure things out. Finding your way in life. That doesn't mean you can’t make mistakes,of course you can, for that's what we do as Human beings, we make them by the bucket load, But when you make mistakes, you must learn from them and become stronger, always keeping your direction in mind and what it is you are trying to achieve from the relationship and pursuing those goals with emotional intelligence and the ability to truly understand what it is she is trying to tell you. You have to have goals and you have to go after them in an intelligent way. Most guys are scared shit less in their lives. Even the ones who pretend not to be, but that can be improved upon, and it comes from within, not from any external source, so focus on the qualities you inherently know you have and try to develop inner peace and calmness... I suggest you learn how to meditate to unscramble that busy mind which will fuck you up 10 ways from Sunday
4...Learn to understand who she is and what she truly wants from you.
When you communicate, listen and understand first before you respond to her. Care enough to see who she really is. Understand her heart and soul. If you don’t, she will build a wall of protection around her emotions so that she doesn't get hurt. This will alienate her. You've already lost the game at this point my friend unless you recognize the signs and remove that wall she is building faster than a negro slave can escape after walking into a KKK convention by mistake.
5... Now here is a tricky one as its based on many things, especially age...
Commitment..Fundamentally, most women want to give and receive love. You have to give her that opportunity..
For some Women, this is the holy grail of relationships and dream daily of a man who will provide for her the children her biological DNA craves, plus the protection and provisions afforded to her by a man of physical strength( good genes for breeding) plus monetary means to provide her with creature comforts, and of course to cloth, house and feed the offspring( Well, that is what she will tell you, but what she really means is, ''Fuck the offspring, bring me Cartier, La Perla, Manolo Blahniks and plenty of them'', and a whole raft of other designer houses you'd better become familiar with if you arrive upon a modern Woman who needs to get paid nigga!!!! I know, I got all South side L.A on your arses for a moment, but when the shoe fits, wear it Mutha F%$&(... ;)
So back to the issue at hand... Commitment.
If you’re looking to have some fun, this isn’t an issue. But if you’re looking for true love, then commitment is essential. That means no sexual escapades. You commit to being with one woman and to communicating openly with her. If you’re lucky, you may become soul-mates which takes me and us on to the next subject.
Soul mates, and what this means and how to recognize and nurture this most wonderful gift that nature has provided us with ,yet needs to be discovered. I find myself in a real dilemma here, writing in this semi serious style, because my readers, who are well aware of my spiritual beliefs, prefer to read my cynical vitriolic diatribes at the unsuspecting, yet totally deserving of their character assassinations that I deliver,and I am battling not to turn this into a light hearted blog, full of comical metaphors and observations, but this topic is very dear to my heart and I truly feel there are so many men out there who are lost and have no clue about what women want, and as for the term soul mate, forget about it. The majority either think that's a term to describe Afro Caribbean hair straightener, or a film about a Black dude who has the ''moves like Jagger''... They are of course..Soul Glow and Soul Man, but you see my point... LOST!!! Hence I will proceed trying my best not to go off road at a 45 degree angle and stay on track here with this very important message.
So, what is a soul mate, and how do we achieve that most glorious of unions.?
To get right to the essence, I believe that the key distinction to make is that when acting through the persona (the mask that we wear as we interact with other people) it is impossible to achieve true love, and that the only way to find a real soul mate is to get in touch with our own emotional selves and to express them to that other person and to drop the role playing that both genders are guilty of...
You literally have to bare your soul, to each other, and no, I do not mean your arse holes, although I am completely comfortable with Anal play,so enjoy it, but the real you, behind the masks of insecurity, and the mini movies that we create, usually influenced by a warped society that has indoctrinated into you a false set of beliefs, that you believe in so whole heartily that you actually uphold this false sense of self and the character you have created...
We are a gullible species, and so easily influenced. You just have to do the math... There are over 7 billion people on this planet and over half of them believe that there is a mythical man way up in the clouds judging all we say and do, with a list of 10 things he does not want us to do, and if we ignore him, there is a place where you will be sent, full of smoke and fire and disease, where you will burn and scream in pain and torment with anguish and terror, forever, yet...HE LOVES YOU!!! Get the fuck outta here with that shit.
So you see how we Humans are so easily manipulated into believing nonsense and fairy tales and its no wonder why we have lost our ability to be ourselves, but its essential if you want to achieve a successful, loving relationship...
You must be skillful in handling the insecurities that will arise from a changing female and to reassure her that she is still attractive, even when she is capable of hiding 10 pencils and pens under her boobs and her nipples are pointing south, or that they fall into her armpits when she lays down, and be sympathetic when she complains that her thighs bang and rub together when she walks, and to respect her wishes not to hold onto to or touch her stomach which hangs down when you are fucking her from behind, and to reassure her that those noises she makes from that very special place are normal when air gets trapped in certain positions and is very normal... ( I am trying my best to keep the humor out of this, but alas, failing miserably, so forgive the occasional humorous observation).. By the way, humor of course is essential to any meeting of souls, so I will retract that apology immediately and move on.
So, finding true love necessitates both people dropping their egos and baring their souls to each other. It couldn't be any other way. Relationships based on the ego-persona are false, and they have no basis in reality, the reality which we have to face and accept, and not the movie directors we all become when trying to impress...
So, let's have a look at what true love is not: For one thing, it is not a business relationship. It is not about money, job “status,” physicality, or anything else shallow. Finding a soul mate is not about going to some bar and picking up some woman or man you don’t know and taking them home and exchanging bodily fluids. True love is not about looking at another person and thinking about what you can get out of him or her. That is just plain vulgar, shallow, and will end in disaster, That is not the way to look at relationships or though, where I live in Dubai, Half of these shallow, money grabbing socialites would strongly contest that statement, if of course they understood the word contest, but with 2 syllables they are already lost. ;). No wonder so many people never find “their” soul mate!, Stop looking in the wrong direction and remove the ego if you really want to give yourself a chance of finding that ''Special one''
True love is not about sex either although when you find a partner that floats your boat, its truly wonderful, It is about honest and direct communication between two people who respect each other and resonate together in an indescribable way.
It’s all about you wanting to give value to her or him. And not money-value, of course. Human value.Your time is the most unselfish and under valued commodity I know of.Its easy to lavish gifts and toys when you have the means necessary, but to give of yourself, I mean truly give yourself and time, without any constraints whatsoever is real giving and its a dying art my friends as the pace of life speeds up and we lose sight of whats truly important... TIME. Give it and truly focus on what she is saying with your whole body and not just one eye as the other one checks your watch. She will notice immediately, and will not take you seriously, and this is a major reason for the breakdowns in relationships... We just don't listen, or give our partners our whole attention.. Ignore this at your peril gentlemen!!!
I think that the people who don’t realize this basic truth never find what they’re looking for, because, in the end, they’re only looking to gratify themselves. Maybe they’ll find a stopgap “relationship” to fill the basic hole in their egos and to top up their low self-esteem. But if it’s not authentic, it will probably be in vain. It certainly won’t be true love.
I think that the only way to find a soul mate is to be yourself, express yourself and go for it. So give yourself the opportunity for a real relationship to emerge.
It sounds romantic to say and to believe that true love will fall out of the sky and find us. But in reality, we have to do the things that will increase our chances of finding the people that we want in our lives. If we don’t go out searching, what can we expect to find? Nothing. So being yourselves and just going for it is all you can do to increase your chances of finding that ''one''
Now, is there another avenue? Yes, there is. You can go out there and “date,” buy a new car, play “the game,” and have a good time. But finding true love like this is not very likely, if you’re relying on tactics and external things. Like I said at the beginning, dropping the persona is essential to real communication and to being true soul mates...
Now a foot note to ponder...
It's Difficult for a Man to know exactly how to behave and what he needs to achieve when attempting to please a Woman... Modern Woman also has to shoulder and accept blame here for sending out confusing signals... I could have so easily written this blog in another vain ,with a different message altogether, based on the information I receive from Women that I know, and listening to what they are saying...
Even for the fairer, more emotionally intelligent of the genders, more and more, Women are getting together and sharing war stories of how their man/men/boys/ are taking them home, or to a hotel and making them bray like an asthmatic donkey all night long as they are given Clitoral, G spot, A spot and deep spot Orgasms that make their bodies shake rattle and roll and how he just gives the best ''Head'' and the Women squeal with delight as they laugh and compete with each other comparing tales of lust, or disappointment that their lovers equipment works OK but was dealt a very bad hand in the measurement department, yet do not think to share the real important things like how their lovers and partners truly understand them and that the need for role playing has been removed from the equation... NOOOO, far to boring, and vitally important that your female friends know you are coming like Thomas the tank engine all night long... So you see, Girls, the mixed messages that are being received by the males is causing confusion, and you to must contribute to the gender war going on.You complain also that you can't find a man that knows and understands you as a woman, yet you are now bragging and acting and competing with the worst type of Man who stands in the pub, or the building site sharing intimate details of how he made this girl squirt all over his apartment, which we all know by now, never happened... That technique is known to but a few of us, and I keep that solely for my true love :)....
So Ladies, never forget, Men and Women are so very different, and if you truly want a real man, a modern man, then I suggest you also become a real Woman and stop attempting to cross the gender divide, acting like a Man, the same type that you girls sit around camp fires assassinating.. You can't have you cake and eat it to, well you can, but don't expect Mr Right to come your way any time soon.. Mr right now is the best you can expect if you want to think and act like a MAN...
Till the next time..its been emotional
Johntomass666
